ESSAIS

 

 

On What I Want for Christmas

 

 

You will break things that belong to you. That’s a rule. Maybe it’s part of ownership, that given time, all things will break. And today, when the common solution to breakage isn’t to super-glue the pieces back together, but to buy something new, ownership is on the rise: Have no fear of fragile things. It’s just easier that way

 

How easy it is to break these things. Young children know this feeling, the dread of receiving a coveted gift. Glee makes the fingers fumble, enthusiasm slicks the palms like sweat; happiness makes for complacency and complacency kills caution; and caution is the only bulwark between the things we own and the things we’ll regret.

 

Maybe when we ask for something, or when we want something, when we form the desire in the mind and caress it like a friend, we construct a concrete expectation, and so whatever we receive seems like a puddled lump of mud, in which our limitless desire will wallow and wonder, What should I have asked for instead? Or, worse yet, What should I ask for next?

 

What should I ask for? Many a spoiled child will have been asking this question for some months now. Some have probably been asking it for a year. What do I want? What do I need? The most spoiled of the spoiled and the ones who know not to expect much will probably be wondering, What will I receive? Only a very few children will probably be thinking excitedly about what they will give.

 

It’s the gift-giving season so expectation shouldn’t be so reviled. It’s strange that gifts are given a season, like deer or fish. It serves the same purpose, though, to store up the value of gifts, watershed the wonder of getting new things. Shiny baubles, cool gadgets, stockinged kitsch. And in the value achieved by a gift given during the gift-giving season, there’s potential for cruelty and disdain. Receive gratefully, or not at all. And so if someone slips you a gift-wrapped slight, a new coat that puts your old favorite to shame, a book that implicitly questions your moral taste, or, even, a toy you know you’ll never use, receive it gratefully, or not at all; at the very least you can sell it off, get a refund, or make a trade; and the slight is deflected, cruelty eschewed, and you can get your own back, slight the slighter, deceive the deceiver, and the potential for ruin and regret is transformed—magically—into happiness, self-satisfaction, and holiday cheer.

 

But for the adults among us, those with higher aspirations than a new toy or tool, it’s a time to think big, ask serious questions, and end the year on an up note of hard considerations. New Year’s resolutions are just around the corner; now is the time to think of others. Not about what small thing you’d like to have, but what you would really have the world receive. A gift the size of civilization, one you can receive and give at one and the same time. Ask your sacred Santa for peace in the Middle East, ask for a general elevation of culture, ask for the hungry and homeless to be fed and sheltered, ask for something of some great worth; no more murders, no more suicides; sustainable agriculture; a miraculous cure for some specific cancer, some deadly disease; death to an oppressor, a tyrant, an influential religious nut; the glorious return of the disappearing bees.

 

But there’s the rule to think of; it is almost law. You will break things that belong to you. So if the world is your li’l oyster, and you’ve given it a gift, say, the peace in the Middle East wish becomes fulfilled, remember that you should be careful what you wish for, lest your benevolent wish becomes the cause for some other specific ill. The consequences of our most altruistic thoughts have the potential to be disastrous—what if the bees come back like a plague, like those Africanized bees, and as they pollinate they leave a swathe of destruction in their wake? What if all the would-be-murdered commit grave corporate crimes, the still-living suicides decide to molest little boys and girls? What if?

 

We can see the future as clearly as we acknowledge the past, that is, fictionally, fantastically, sieved through our present state of blindness, and so we’ll never know the consequences a gift will create. It seems a pointless, fruitless consideration to think of things in this way. But the gifts are ripe, the season is ready, we must decide now—right now—what to give. Maybe it would be best to give only the things you already own, to preserve them from breakage, and let another soul worry about the destruction that will inevitably follow, the falling apart of all things that takes place in our collective future. The world is wasting away as you watch: Close your eyes, extend your arms, give yourself the gift of giving it all away!

 

Do you see? You must understand. There is no difference between giving and receiving. When you give a gift, you always get a receipt. It is the ultimate act of mean reciprocity, if only because our memory will not allow for the giving of gifts to be forgotten. All gifts have some selfish end in the giver. All gifts have some sort of malicious effect on the receiver. In this sense, then, it would be better to be the receiver. And so I ask myself what I want for Christmas this year, and it can’t be a toy, an object, or a thing; it can’t be some high and lofty concept that I can barely ring my mind round; it will be something I can lay my hands on and break knowingly, willfully, and accept the responsibilities of my actions; it will be something small, conceptual and small, something that I know I have the strength to break. It will have to be small, but great in value, so great that I will know that its breaking was inexcusable, that I cannot afford it on my own, and I will have to ask for it again—again and again, day after day—not just one piddling day that recurs ever year—to break it and break it again, to remind me of its great value. What I want for Christmas is friendship, a little winter love that I can enjoy in some dark corner. And when I receive it and feel the receiver’s regret, and I ask, “What will I ask for next?”—I’ll just give it a few days. You will break things that belong to you. Remember that; it’s a rule.

 

DC

 

ESSAIS